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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29999310">tether of christmas lights</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/themarauderswap/pseuds/themarauderswap'>themarauderswap</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, Flashbacks, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Jschlatt is Toby Smith | Tubbo's Parent, Memories, Mentioned Dream SMP Ensemble, Mentioned Sleepy Bois Inc, Minor Character Death, No beta we die like Tommy in the prison, Past Abuse, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Platonically Married Ranboo and Toby Smith | Tubbo, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ranboo Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, chosen family, don't be weird, no shipping bc friendship is superior</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:34:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29999310</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/themarauderswap/pseuds/themarauderswap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Without the filter of light and daytime, Ranboo found himself returning the question.<br/>“What was your family like?” Tubbo went quiet for a moment. A patch of rapids.</p><p>~</p><p>a conversation at night, memories, and eyes that look like christmas lights.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Alexis| Quackity &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Jschlatt &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, Minor or Background Relationship(s), No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>136</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>tether of christmas lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of physical and emotional abuse, alcoholism, and death. please do not read if any of these things will trigger you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was one of those conversations where you didn’t really know how you got there in the first place. One slips into bed from a nightmare and suddenly the blankets become a fortress of safety. The deathly silence that comes with snowy nights is broken by whispers and the darkness gets driven away. Ranboo had to curl in on himself to fit in the bed but it was already more comfortable than his own. His best friend's presence was the best comfort he could ask for after the dream had convinced him he was gone. </p><p>“Do you remember your family?” Tubbo had asked. Ranboo shook his head against the pillow; He looked different without a crown. His hair stuck up and there was a wave where it sat. His eyes glowed in the darkness. They reminded Tubbo of the Christmas lights lining the awning of their little home. He reckoned they should get to taking them down, as christmas was long past</p><p>“No. But I suppose I made one. Phil, Techno, Tommy, you. And now Michael.” Their little family was all he needed, all he wanted to remember. Even if Michael grew up to replace Dream, Ranboo knew he would choose him, sides be damned because when faced with the question of love or war, you always choose love, so why choose war in practice? </p><p>“That’s lovely.” Tubbo said. He had a sad sort of smile and without the filter of light and daytime Ranboo found himself returning the question. </p><p>~</p><p>“What was your family like?” Tubbo went quiet for a moment. A patch of rapids. </p><p>“He was shitty.” The words felt odd in Tubbo’s mouth. He had turned them over and over in his mind but the rock never polished, it remained jagged and ugly and confusing. </p><p>Because Schlatt <em>was</em> shitty. That’s a given. </p><p>But…</p><p>
  <em>“Dad! Dad look!” Tubbo had shrieked, running through the house. He found his dad asleep in the armchair by the fire. He shook his arm, too excited to feel bad for breaking his sleep. Schlatt jolted awake and looked down at his son. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah kid, what’s up?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Look! I have horns now too! Right here.” He moved his hair aside to show off the little buds of cartilage. “I’m gonna be just like you!” Schlatt grinned down at him with a look of absolute pride, and he tousled Tubbo’s hair. </em>
</p><p>He was still his father.</p><p> He had taken Tubbo to get ice cream in the dog days of summer after visiting Tommy. He would comb through Tubbo’s hair when it got ridiculously long that one year and never got mad when he tracked mud in the house. </p><p>Tubbo couldn’t give you a specific day, or even specific year when Schlatt started to change. It was gradual, colder stares and additional bottles of whiskey empty on the floor. The house had started to reek and the smell made Tubbo sick. He started staying with Tommy a lot. </p><p>If he had to attribute it to something, power was Schlatt’s demise. The white house, <em>oh god the White House,</em>was a time he wished he could forget. Snaps and strikes and so many bottles. In those few months of power, Quackity became more of a dad then Schlatt had been in a long time. They understood each other. They both had been too close to the supernova that was Schlatt, and they never knew which was worse; The explosion of angry words and uncoordinated attacks or the black hole of cover ups, half assed apologies and empty promises. Quackity was better at first aid then he let on. </p><p>The funeral had been a lot. It wasn’t a lot of people, and Tubbo didn’t blame them. Most of the faces had blurred together anyway. He remembered Quackity. He had been there in a gentle side hug the whole time. Before he made his early departure he told Tubbo to call him if he ever needed anything.</p><p> They still saw each other often, but things were much different for the both of them. Quackity was engaged and from what he had said, they were lovely. His fiances looked at him as if he were an angel, and since his wings were flourishing again he truly looked the part, he practically glowed now. Tubbo was promised a front row seat at the wedding. </p><p>He remembers how Schlatt had wanted to keep him away from Quackity. And Tommy and his family. Because <em>“family comes first bud. You’re not gonna forget your old man for some friends you barely know?”</em> And how could he? He had branded himself onto Tubbo’s heart. He had burned. </p><p> </p><p>“Tubbo?” Ranboo asked, bringing him back to the present. His heart slowed. Christmas lights were safe. He was safe. He hummed in response,still too far gone to answer. “Lost you for a second there.” Ranboo quiets for a moment before asking the inevitable “Are you...okay?” Tubbo prepares a ‘yes’ but it gets stuck in his dry throat. </p><p>Words had lost their meanings a long time ago. Words can be picked and chosen to get exactly what you want. They can mean nothing. They usually do. He learned that in the white house. A thousand ‘I’m fines’ usually got the job done. </p><p>But how was he, really? </p><p>He’d escaped. Be it through death, Schlatt was gone. Tubbo was the ruler of a new nation, a beautiful land of snow not tainted by the wake of his father. He had his best friend, his brother back and a new best friend to share a life with, to build a home with. He had a son and a home up where the snow fell and the lakes iced over. He’d always loved winter, but would the summer reach him here? </p><p>He tried to be an optimist. He was always telling people it would be okay. He used to look up at the clouds and see linings of gold, but as years wore by they faded to grey, and he told people they were silver. Fog rolled in, and he felt lost within it. Rain came down, and it sounded an awful lot like people whispering he’d be <em>just like him.</em> Just like his father. How different were they really? </p><p>But however cold Snowchester was, it’s clear air and cold sun brought him an odd sort of clarity. He knew he loved Michael, and swore to himself he wouldn’t be anything like his own father. Ranboo never saw him as anything but wonderful, telling him how ‘anyone who keeps people from killing bees is alright in my book.’ He knew he would never use him the way Schlatt used his ‘friends’. He knew he would build this country for the security of its people, not power. </p><p>Tubbo exhaled, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and unclenched his jaw. Ranboo was looking at him, a stare laced with patience and genuine care. He had extended a hand to Tubbo, which he took graciously, not even caring that Ranboo’s fingers were icy. Christmas lights tethered him down, comforting light through the fog clouding his brain. And In their little bubble, he found it easier to whisper </p><p>“I will be.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this author loves you very much! please take care of yourself, and if you liked this pls leave kudos and comments !! </p><p>(had this in the drafts, wanted to post it)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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